And I thought the Governator is the one who has got the balls and style. Boy oh Boy! Was I so fricking wrong!

Coming back to the case in point, Google is promoting Verizon/Motorola Droid in its homepage. So how does a mobile phone ad on the world’s most trafficked page justify such an outrageous title?  The fact that this happens to be only the fourth time an ad has appeared there escaping the clutches of an Internet giant so crazy about the stingy <28 word limit.

Prior to this occasion, Google promoted Firefox at it’s infancy, then Chrome and Andorid both got the same privilege at their respective launches. Firefox has gone through three versions and has reached 330 million people with a Google Search box built right within browser. But they did not get a second chance. Google’s own scrawny assed baby, Chrome, has gone through four versions. Sadly, no more sweet lovin’ for it too.

The fact that Google has chosen to add a blotch to its Sistine Chapel for an above average phone running an above average version 2.0 of Android(more on that in a later post) is real diabolical. Droid, called the iphone killer by fanboys, by itself would not have even killed the Palm Pre. Now with Google’s heartfelt  endorsement, things are definitely looking up for the Motorola built handset. Droid is gonna witness one hell of a spike in sales, thanks to a non descript TEXT link.

Google is running the ad just for the fun of it. Its there because they can put it there. Now, what is gonna happen happen when the real iPhone killer mobile launches? Lets assume that Android 2.5 is capable of powering such a Jesus phone. With Google’ s homepage promotion, it will sell tens of millions of handsets. Now they will tweak the OS and will launch the polished Jesus phone with Android 2.6. The history will repeat itself with a Google homepage push. Where is Apple gonna promote iPhone 3GX? Yahoo, may be? Nah. Microsoft pwns it. Youtube? Microsoft.com? Facebook? Live.com? All sites are behind enemy lines. I don’t see any single outlet that could favor Apple in the top twenty sites. Apple has to understand that Google is no Microsoft. There are no blue screens of death when it comes to Google.

Apple just added social networking features to iTunes. A social network, friends and family, is our real strength. So who is in Apple’s social network? Do they have any friends? They love to step on everyone’s feet. They have scorned all old media giants (Warner, Paramount, Fox and the like) thanks to the arm twisting iTunes deals. Apple is the modern day equivalent of a high school bully in the consumer electronics market. They have alienated a lot of customers too. iPhone launches in two of the world’s largest & fastest growing telecom markets, China and India, sank like the Titanic. If Google chooses to promote an Android phone in India and China today, it will sell atleast a million handsets within a month. Apple has managed to sell 20,000 iphones in India. Yep. Twenty thousand phones by unofficial estimates. It was so bad an experience that both the Indian telecom partners chose not to launch iPhone 3GS. Inspite of the ad blitzkrieg, Apple has sold 5000 handsets since launch in China. There has been no real competitor for the past three years and still such nightmares are happening. How many phones can they sell in USA and Japan?

If Google endorses every single Android mobile or version, Apple can kiss that fat ass 40% margin good bye. Apple will be Apple as long as it has that fat ass margin. The day that starts to dip, it will just be another NASDAQ listed company. Transcending cultures, borders and time, history has taught the human race one important lesson: No one is invincible. Apple, if you are still arrogant with all the success and glory of the iPhone, just ask Sony what happened to the first consumer electronic device that sold 100 million units. Poof. It’s no more.

It’s time to kiss and make up with Google. An app store with 100,000 apps is no match to the billions of clicks at Google. When it comes to the power of reaching every single person in this world Google  is just one notch below the market leader. You can’t buy that kind of  marketing muscle even with all the 34 billion USD in the bank.

There is an alternate solution if Apple still does not want to make nice with Google. All Apple has to do is to suck it up and turn to the one who is above Google.  And the fastest way to reach him is by dusting off the good old Bible and saying a few million Hail Mary’s.

P.S.: BTW am sorry for the family friendly title. This blog serves as a showcase to promote my freelance copy writing business. So am trying hard to keep it expletives free, which a very tough task given my foul mouth. For the clueless 2year olds’, please replace “Intercourse” with the magnetic “F” Word (No. Not frick. The word I have in mind has four letters).